Linda: Hey. This is Linda and Charles with Fun Loving Couples, the premier location for committed couples that like to travel, eat well, work out, and have fun.
Linda: Today, we have the pleasure of talking to Dr. Eddie Weller, of Getting Weller. Hey.
Dr Eddie Weller: Hey there.
Linda: We’re going to let Eddie tell you a little bit about himself. We’re going to just dive into this conversation. We know that all of the couples watching will really like this.
Dr Eddie Weller: First and foremost, thank you guys. You guys are such an inspiration truly, and it’s just been awesome. One of the things I’m doing here is, my last name is Weller. One of the things I decided to coin was Getting Weller. Getting Weller is really about having a healthy body, healthy mind, and healthy relationships. One of the things growing up, I suffered with a irritable bowel bunch, an ADD go-go-go kid. I was having a healthy body, a healthy mind issue. I really found a way to resolve that. Now it’s relationship stuff. Me being married just about 10 years, I teach in my office with couples, what’s it mean to have a healthy relationship, how do you communicate? If the body can grow into a problem, or the relationship can grow into a problem, why can’t it grow out of one? I call it Getting Weller.
Linda: Nice, nice.
Charles: Nice, very cool. As a side note, look, for those watching, we didn’t just find Dr. Eddie on the streets somewhere, our paths crossed in a Mastermind. It speaks to the character and the caliber, because you’ve got to invest in yourselves. Quickly, we realize that our paths crossed for a reason and it wasn’t for ourselves necessarily, but it was to share information for couples, for you to improve relationships. Eddie, tell us, what’s the topic for today man?
Dr Eddie Weller: The topic is many things that I talk about within the Getting Weller in the relationships, but a lot of it actually, one of them this morning I spoke just about this topic when a client of mine, is a polarity shift. The polarity shift, and I’ll define that. But the polarity shifts within a relationship and what does that mean, and how does it affect your health? Most of the clients that I see, people with either cancers and tumors, those kind of conditions, male, female issues they have an issue or had an issue with the opposite sex. There was a couple I was talking to this morning. He’s actually paranoid of her, and he walks on eggshells. I asked him, I said, “I’m going to pull you aside, I’m going to talk to you a little bit.” He’s like, “Okay.”
I shut the door, and we talked. We were at a restaurant. We actually went to the bathroom. I said, “I ask you right now, are you the man who she married? Are you the man who she married? You said I do to her, and she said I do to you, are you that guy? Because I will just about bet my children right now that you are not that guy. You are terrified of her, why?” “She does this, she does that.” I go, “Why does I do mean I won’t?” Which is the book that I’m writing by the way. “But, why does I do mean I won’t? She wasn’t a nag before, why is she a nag now? Vice versa, you weren’t a pain in the rear before, why are you now? What happened? Where did that go?” Recently, we did some blood work. We have a lab here in the office. We did some blood work. I said, “Yeah, and your testosterone is plummeted. What happened? What’s getting me right now is your estrogen is five times the normal.”
Dr Eddie Weller: What? I am a huge advocate of what the mind believes, the body achieves. Your body doesn’t care with what you think, it just reacts to how you think. If it’s reacting to how you think, it’s reacting to a good emotion or a bad emotion, a stressor. If it’s reacting to that, why is it reacting to that? Because you’re setting up an environment that you are not thriving in. Now you’re in this relationship where there’s a polarity shift. She’s taken over the masculine role, and he’s taken over the feminine role. What I understand is, it’s not a control thing. God made you to be a certain something. Are you being that? If you’re not being that, why? Why did that change?
Dr Eddie Weller: I watch different relationships. I had a woman last week come on in, and she’s 36, stage three breast cancer. I said, “Forget about why does one breast have cancer, not both. Wouldn’t get into that later.” I described that neurologically. “But why did you develop into it? Why is the body growing into it? Outside of maybe having aluminum in your deodorant or certain environments. But what happened in your relationships?” She’s like, “Well, I can’t have one.” “I know, you’ve been single for a while. What’s up? What’s going on?” I talked to her a bunch, and we dug a little bit deeper. When she was eight years old, her father decided to tap her on the ankles. From eight years old to 13 years old, she gave her father oral sex.
Now, she’s had this molestation thing way back in the day, and she struggles with any relationship she has today because she can’t trust a male. What happens is, is her testosterone is high, she’s a pit bull. Short [inaudible 00:04:49], because I’ll be dammed if another male’s going to hurt me. Testosterone is so high, and her estrogen is low. I know because I’ve done blood work on her. When I see them going, we need to shift this right now. When are you going to be that woman again? I don’t know if you ever were. I’m going to teach you a little bit, show you how to get Weller, what’s it mean to be a woman again. It’s just been awesome. I love it.
#Travel #EatWell #Workout #HaveFun #FLCLifestyle
Charles: We had originally scheduled this for 20 minutes. I think we’re going to go ahead and go with the four-hour route, because in that little bit there’s holly moly, so much stuff. Let me start off by saying this, because I’m fond of saying … What you said very early on was, “Are you the guy that she married, and is she the girl that he married?” I understand the context of that statement. But I’ve also said this, is that I can’t be the man that you married, and you can’t be the woman that I married. Because whether I choose not to change, things are going to change around me, and I’ve got to adapt. I’m going to argue that that’s what happened to this couple, right? Something happened, and their goals did change. How do we address that then? Because you’re saying that in some respects I still need to be that male, that masculine part of the relationship. But how does the dynamic change, and how do you keep it together, tight, loving?
Dr Eddie Weller: The biggest part of the thing is the communication, and the communication of a vision. What are you working towards as a couple? What do you want in your life? My favorite questions is when I ask couples, “You have $100 million in the bank, what do you two do every day? What do you two do? Forget about what you’d like to do on your own, but what do you two do?” Many relationships, people think it’s a two-way street. It’s a one-way street. You’re both in the same car, you’re just switching off driving. Nothing’s wrong with switching the roles. My mother, she run the roofs, she run the house. If it hit the fan, I’m going to get dad, right? It was [inaudible 00:06:45]. He was the anchor. He’s just, “I don’t need all this BS stuff. Just tell me the important stuff and I’ll be like an Indian chief, right?” Let the Indians [inaudible 00:06:52] kind of thing.
Charles: We’ve had that conversation in our house too man. Sorry, just had to-
Dr Eddie Weller: All good, it’s all good. But I think most relationships, it’s interesting is, none of us have really been trained to be in a relationship, to learn the word compromise, to put prayer in the middle of our relationship. How do we do that? How do we put God in the center of it? Regardless of what your belief is, how do you have God unite us? Because that’s the love that we have. If I love you, what do you need from me? This is main chapter, and it’s the center of my book. Gosh, this just gives me the chills. As a man, men have to approach this first. As a man, what do you want from me as your husband, physically, emotionally, and spiritually? As a woman, you tell me, because you’re my wife, what’s up. You’re my wife. I was about to be everything for you. You’re it for me. I committed to you.
If I take care of you, it’s just the law of nature, but it’s reciprocated on the female end. Women are not difficult. Men are the pain in the rear. We are. We’re a pain in the butt. Because we go, go, go, and here we are. Women just want to open up and be led, not controlled, led. This is my guy, he’s taking care of me. I’m going to do everything I can to take care of him. That’s the physical, emotional, spiritual realm. But I really think if couples were to come together and create a vision, what do you want? Before you even get married. Quick story, 10 years ago, my wife and I were at the botanical gardens. We’re standing in the rose garden, doing our rehearsal dinner. I said, “Jennifer,” Everybody went up front to have cocktails, and they’re all eating. I said, “I need to talk to you about something.” She said, “Okay.”
We’re standing on these stairs here. We sit down on these stairs. I said, “In 24 hours, we’re going to say our vows on these stairs. But I need to share something with you right now.” She’s like, “Okay.” I’m straight faced, poker face on. “Understand that I don’t need you in my life.” She’s like, “What?” “I don’t need you in my life. My life’s great. I got things taken care of, I’m happy. My life’s great. But I love you in my life. The difference is, is I’m the cake, you’re my frosting. You can have a party with a cake but gosh, it’s so much better with frosting.” That’s how I look at it, is how are we complementing one another. We’re both in canoe, going through this thing called life. It’s just a current. You can’t control the current before you can control your paddles. We’re doing this together. I think what happens is, one’s in the back in the canoe paddling and steering, and the other one is just paddling.
Well, sooner or later we’ll shift, but we’re still going in the same direction. Now, one steers, and the other one paddles. But we’re doing it together. I think that togetherness, tends to dissipate. When I see even couples going out to dinner, even today, what happens? There’s four, five, six couples at the dinner. It’s a long table. What happens? All the guys are on one side, all the guys in the other side, like an 8th grade dance. They’re all talking about their thing, and there’s no us. That doesn’t happen when I go out to dinner. I do not allow my couple friends. We all sit. I sit across from my wife, there’s a guy, you sit across from yours, and we have a moment. We do it together. I think that togetherness is gone. That’s why the I do means I won’t anymore. We lose the us thing.
What You Should Do Next
FLC is a Global Community for Committed Couples that like to Travel, Eat Well, Workout & Have Fun!
Fun Loving Couples™ is for those that want to enhance their relationship with their spouse, significant other, or partner. Fun Loving Couples™ is for growing stronger together! Having Adventure in your Relationship!