Charles: Hey folks! This is Charles and Linda of Fun Loving Couples, the premiere online location for committed couples who like to travel, eat well, work out, and have fun. Today it’s our honor and privilege to introduce and bring to you Judith Costa, who is a master in psychology and psychotherapy. And don’t judge, I am looking at my notes down here. But Judith is a speaker, an author, and a seminar leader. Judith lives in the U.S. and organizes workshops and retreats around the world, and she has different techniques for coaching, past life regression, astrology, dream interpretations. But today we’re talking about relationships, because, as we all talked about, complacency is the silent killer to all relationships. Which is one of the main reasons why we do have Fun Loving Couples, because we want to travel, eat well, work out, have fun, and avoid complacency.
Linda: Yes, yes. And when we spoke to Judith the other day we had a very interesting conversation, and I feel she has a great outlook on what love is. And I know our conversation led about self-love, and we’re gonna cover a lot of different things today during this time, but I want to start off with talking about what a soul mate is in a relationship. I just heard something recently, which was really different than what I’ve heard forever, was that this gentleman was chiming in on a conversation we were having online, and he was saying that a soul mate is someone that you’ve never met before and will never meet. So I know we didn’t talk about this the other day, but I want to get your input on that and what you feel a soul mate in a relationship is.
Judith: Wow, what a beginning of a conversation! I think what this gentleman is talking about is what is called a “twin soul,” because a twin soul will be like the other half of you. It’s someone that is … You are supposed to be together one day. When I teach my workshop “How to Find a Soul Mate,” I don’t enter in this concept because it’s very confusing for people, especially ’cause it requires a certain level of awareness and a lot of things to understand the differences. I mean, “soul mate” sounds like a word that has a lot of weight. For a lot of people finding your soul mate, just one people in the world, and it’s this person for me! No, we have more than one soul mate. Finding your soul mate is easy; it’s not complicated. A soul mate relationship is wonderful. Those who have been with their soul mates believe that there’s nothing like experience this kind of relationship. A soul mate is like your eternal partner.
I disagree with this guy because it’s someone with whom you have been with in the past, in past lives, but it convene with you in this lifetime. You for sure it will be with you in the future. Why? Because soul mates encounter and re-encounter themselves again and again because the purpose of the relationship is not only to share the love that they have for each other, the purpose is to help each other to grow. And some of the things you are not going to accept in a different kind of relationships, like invitations to do more exercise or “Why don’t you change this behavior?” Or “You have this pattern.” You would’ve broke up! You just wouldn’t want this person if he starts like telling you what you have to do.
In a soul mate relationship, this kind of conversations that I’ve shared with the love, unconditional love, are more common. And because of the love that you share, you are ready to make changes in your mind. That is a partner with whom, as you said, you can have fun, eat well, and travel around the world.
Judith: A lot of people have negative connotations in their soul mates because they thought that someone was their soul mate, and then it didn’t work out. And as you said, complacency can be a problem. You have not to work in the relationship, I don’t like this type of working. I think you have to invest all your love and to demonstrate that you really love the other person the same way you love yourself, and then things are gonna work out. Because if not, even soul mates can get divorced. You have like a stamp that because you’re soul mates you’re gonna be perfect forever. No! That doesn’t exist, but it gives you the soul mate connection is a great beginning. It’s the soul recognition, this idea that even I don’t know you, I feel that I’m happy to see you again.
It’s very weird because people say, “I’m gonna’ miss my soul mate.” No, no, no, you will see when you are in front of this person that something special is happening. You can even recognize the person looking at the other corner of the room, but at the same time like any other relationship, it’s based on love, and love is a verb, and you have to demonstrate it.
Linda: Yeah, I agree, I agree with you. I thought it was very odd; I had never heard that concept before, so that’s why I wanted to bring it up.
Charles: Yeah, I don’t agree with him either. Judith I agree with you 100%. Look, Linda and I have been together 30 years, married 26 years, and since-
Judith: Oh, congratulations!
Linda: Thank you.
Charles: Thank you. And since 2010, we’ve been like this. On the other side of the camera is our office, and we sit less than six feet apart. And I often joke with folks that we sleep together, we shower together, we eat together, we work together, we do everything together. And a lot of folks look at us like we’re crazy and like, “Ah, how do you do it?! I’d kill myself!” And I tell them, ” I get it, but it works for us, and in my opinion we are soul mates.”
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